The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
译文:
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”
妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。”
约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。”
妻子:“为什么?”
约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
妈妈:弗雷迪,你的脸为什么那么红?
弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止一次打架?
妈妈:你做的对,谁和谁在打架.
弗雷迪:我和杰克·史密斯. 作者: lanzhou01 时间: 2008-5-15 11:11